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| Elder abuse (Photo credit: runran) |
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| Elders Financial Abuse Awareness Dialogue Projects Celebrated (Photo credit: United Way of the Lower Mainland) |
As a baby boomer growing up in the 1950s and 1960s I saw huge demonstrations of civil rights and factions demanding equal rights and equal treatment under the Constitution of Th United States.Buildings were bombed.Cars overturned and burned.Business's looted and firebombed.People attacked for being "The Wrong Kind of People".Many were or most of those victims were not anything but the right person in the wrong place at the wrong time.
The victims should have been where they were,the attackers should not have been there with malice in mind.It served no purpose then nor would it now.
I witnessed the animal like attacks on people who were just walking down the street going to work or minding their own business be threatened and beaten by mindless mobs of hoodlums proclaiming equal rights while denying others their equal rights to live in peace.
You may wonder just how this is related to my headline...Read on and learn dear friend.
The time machine now brings us forward into the more recent years.Women's lib has opened doors to more women.Women still are being judged by the profile they have with little relation to their work records.The pay still sucks in tons and insurance ETC.is really a disgrace for the USA's modern world.
Slavery is abolished in the highlighted world and still exists in the world we never see here in the USA.Ask A migrant worker here just trying to earn a living with the feds itching to deport him or her back to the socialist cartel republic of Mexico.Ask the people who work in sweat shops on backstreet town USA about the insurance they will be signing up for and see
what the answer is.Ask any person on the street who has been conned into the drug scene and the pimp beats him or her into selling themselves for more poison...I think they wont be able to answer you without you seeing the terror in their eyes if they speak....
I know another place in the United States of America where you will see that same terror and fear in the eyes of a Nobel person who does not deserve to live in fear.They are the last discrimination,the last place we would think to see abuse,neglect,brutality of the worst Physical and psychological means.I have also personally witnessed this....
5years ago my father contracted what was diagnosed as "perhaps" pneumonia or congestive heart failure.he went to the doctors office and got medications that would supposedly kill the pneumonia bug and get him well.It did not and a week later he was admitted into the local hospital for intravenous fluids and antibiotics.He was very dehydrated by this time and quite unfocused from the lack of fluids.This was pretty much the usual treatment for a man who was so sick.He had always been active and this really had knocked him down.
A week went by and the doctors said that he could go home as he had recovered well enough to eat and drink by himself.He was still very weak from being so sick and could not get out of bed by himself without help yet.It looked very good for recovery though.
We (the family)walked in the room one day to do our visiting time and found dad very upset.The Doctor had just told him the hospital was going to place him into Their nursing home which was connected to the other end of the hospital.He and the family protested to this deal.We wanted to take him home to recover.The doctor said that my sister who cared for him was also disabled and said dad would only be there for a week or two at most.The doctor just wanted to make sure he was strong enough to do for himself.We finally agreed with the goal of two or three weeks as a maximum time to the nursing home rehabilitation time.
Dad was taken the next day to a ward where the patients were suffering from dementia and Alzheimer's as well as dying in the last stages.He was placed in the same room as a man who was in the last stages of dying.A cotton curtain separated dad and the mans family sitting with him as he suffered and moaned in extreme pain.
The family demanded for him to either get a room without that or be released to a different facility.We were told that if we try ed to remove him a police arrest on the family would be issued.We demanded a new room in a different ward.Dad was not dying and he had not been able to sleep in days from the groaning and screaming going on day and night.It literally sounded like the Hollywood insane asylums in an old B rated movie...
Finally when we also threatened to bring authorities into the picture dad was moved to a ward a floor above the dying souls that were left in lower hell.For a short time the people treated dad okay as he and family were being told that it was a short term stay.He was cheerful and ready to regain his freedom to leave.His recovery was showing progress.
A few days go by and we find that dad had taken a "fall out of bed".Dad was trying to go to the bathroom and could not get help even after ringing the call bell on the bed.He was bruised and frightened when we walked in the next day.The nurses had put him in an adult diaper and told him not to bother them just go in the diaper and we will change you later.Dad was a former hospital worker and was used to being extremely particular with his hygiene.The government hospital he retired from had inspections of such things.They were up to military standards which dad had always followed.This was totally not acceptable by dad or family.
The nursing home head nurse waltzed in and said we tried to have your father sign a paper excepting that it was his fault for falling out of bed.He would not sign,so I signed it as being uncooperative.She handed us a yellow copy and left.My sisters and I followed her and demanded why the nursing home was trying to have dad sign something that he was not responsible for and why would he not get help going to the toilet.They said he was uncooperative and they did not have time to deal with it.The head nurse said that all the residents wore the diaper for easier maintenance and convenience of the workers.The place always smelled of urine and fecal matter from this practice.
A week later after many encounters with this nurse and others we stayed to find why dad was not eating and always hungry.We would bring him candy bars and cookies to see him wolf down the snacks like someone who was starving.Dad had lost huge amounts of weight in a few weeks.The staff told us it was from his sickness depleting his body.At lunch time the "residents"were all pushed into the dining room/church/entertainment room.They were all types of persons with various life hardships in health and age.Dad was sat with a few other men at a tiny table with his food on the table.Healthier alert "residents"were not watched as they grabbed food off the less able folks tray.It usually went unnoticed by staff.
Dad was was being fed Cheap hot dogs,and potato chips(enough to fit in the palm of a small hand).He was on the low salt diet that he always had to follow as a former stroke patient.He had been fed the same for days.The facility refused to change the meals till
once again the family went and personally talked to the dietitian for change.The next day we also showed up at lunch and stayed till visiting hours were over.The noon meal was a small but balance one with coffee and desert.The evening meal was good to.
We thought it was over but found that when we made a surprise visit to the lunchtime again in a few days that the daily meal was now a single slice of American cheese in thin sliced bread with.....Yup salted potato chips.We were on our way to the head nurse again.Dad had not been changed and wreaked of fecal and urine.They had taken him to eat dinner that way.
At this point in my article you may ask as to why we were not doing anything to help dad.
We were.We had looked on the Internet for the lawyer who would represent the elderly in this town.It stated that this man was the representative to call when an elderly person was not being treated properly or elder abuse was involved.We went in on appointment to talk.
The man listened to our story and asked if there was any evidence to support our accusations.We had menus and several Eyewitness accounts.He said for 500dollars he could look into it.
Days past after our visit We called on this "Elder Lawyer"again because there had been no contact from him.He basically turned us away saying that he could not do anything about it.It was our word against a cooperate hospital organization.We would not be able to afford him...His attitude was condescending and arrogant.Basically told us if we wanted help to sign over or sell dads home to finance the help.Then there would probably be no actual help from his efforts.We walked out with a feeling of being kicked in the face.This was the only so called ELDER person lawyer we had even offer to help us.My opinion of them is set by this example of the legal defenders today.
upon returning to the facility,we found dads sitting at the end of the far hall by himself in a chair.He had again attempted to go to the toilet from his chair and fallen.More bruises.Dad was again wearing hours of fecal and urine.His clothes that we were forced to buy were soaked with urine.He was not strapped into his chair.
One of the other Residents had been talking to him because he was crying like a baby.They had taken his purchased Hankies from him and told him to wipe his nose on his sleeve...Because he had asked to go home or please call his family too many times they now had him strapped into a wheelchair at the end of the hall.He had not eaten his lunch fast enough that days so they listed his records as refused food.He was hungry,dirty,his nose was running with no tissues and his spirit was beginning to break.Back to the lawyer was useless.We began to look for a structure or a hierarchy in this rat hole organization.
We came acrossed a most remarkable thing.A name similar to the Elder Lawyer popped up and low and behold it was the very same name as a Member of the board of directors of the same hospital. Dad was being held prisoner in the nursing home wing.I was later told by the lady in charge of the nursing home that it was his daddy who sat on the board of directors.It just gets better folks!
We battled with this so called long term care hellhole for the next 4years.searching for a way to help dad.It eventually split my family from the stress that just trying to break through the bureaucratic ethic bullshit that surrounds such places.There was no way out for dad.Within a month a very old retired doctor that they kept around for appearance I assume; pronounced dad with Alheimers.This was a very convenient thing for the nursing home.Every time dad would have bruises on his hands,face or lower body and he would say please don't let them beat me anymore.I have not done anything to deserve this.I have never done anything to anyone to be beaten up every morning.Please help me.You are my family,please help me!
We approached the head nurse who would go into the room and ask if dad thought he was being abused.Dad had never been afraid of anything to my knowledge when he was home.
Now he would cower in fear with hands guarding his face as one who in used to a beating.
he was covering the areas that often showed severe bruising.Bruising that we kept fotos of.
Dad was often cut and bleeding about his face from being shaved with a razor so we were told.I have shaved all my life with an electric razor such as the one used to shave dad.I now have that razor that I use every day.I have never cut myself numerous times or even once with the $149.norelco razor.I do not believe he was either.
One morning we visited dad only to find his hands were wearing compression elastics on both hands.He was favoring both his hands as though there was something wrong with them.Upon examination we found both hands were broke open and bleeding.The nurse said that he had hit both his hands on the shower door while getting his morning shower.Those showers were given once a week to diapered stationary sometimes chair belted Elderly Residents.The nurses said they were not aware of these injuries,We ask when the dry elastics were put on and the room got quiet.Dad was again presented by the head nurse with a statement paper asking him to sign that he was responsible.Again stating that the patient/resident was uncooperative.
During the 4years that we fought to give dad a bit of dignity and some of the comforts of life.The right to dress in clothes you are used to and comfortable with.They sent home or trashed anything they deemed to hard to use.Dads wardrobe of nice clean clothes became a demand of stretchy clothe such as runners wear.socks that became his shoes.
Dozens of razors of their choice because the extremely overweight aid assigned to him said that all the razors we bought were to blame for hacking his face up.The same ones like I now inherited and use daily.Never a cut.....Never!
The day came when we finally got a Physical therapist to look at dad and re evaluate dad about 4 months into the 1rst year of nursing home life.It was the times of dad hoping to go home and work on projects he loved.Building things,running his 1939 John deer or at least hearing it run.Going places in his car even as a passenger.Eating whatever he wished.Eating with enough time to chew and appreciate his food.The on board dentist often came in to pull the patients teeth without any family being told till afterwords.The insurances were then billed for dental extraction.
This created another shoe in situation for this money pit of insurances.
This again created a situation for the "nursing home"He could not chew the whole food now,so instead of fitting the residents with false teeth,they would throw all the food into a blender and make it look like puke.Usually a greenish yellow color.The families can only guess what actually is being fed to these ancient vessels of a lifetime of wisdom.Is looks like puke,smells like garbage and the resident is force fed the puke in a time period of about 5-10minute each resident.
Don't feel up to eating these marvelous meals not mentioned in the candy colored advertisements,we just write up another non cooperative resident report.Then you go back into the hall to sit in your own crap and urine till some one decides your family might show up.No family visiting,maybe we can clean you before we throw you in bed.
Since dad could not get up and stroll like the 35year old therapist who was employed by the nursing home he was deemed incapable of going home.He had not been very strong since he had been in the nursing home for some reason? perhaps nutrition or lack of.Perhaps because he was cleaned up and out of the strapped chair during the therapy evaluation.Try sitting for a few weeks and see how you would do...
They finally broke dads spirit and he began to drift in despair when we visited he would ask about his house,car and his tractor.He would ask if we had sold his house.The social worker had waltzed in with the head nurse and told him they had taken his house and that the only place he had now was the nursing home.It broke him.We sat for days before he could ask without crying if it was true.We told him we were doing everything we could to get him home.He replied please don't let me die in here.please take me home so I can at least die in freedom.I remember the torment and mental hell I felt because I was not able to help him.
I paid for that house and it has been taken away he would say..He was so broken by now he could not focus to remember the woman he married 60years ago.My sisters and my mother.He was so distraught that all he did was sit with tears in this eyes.The chair strap was removed when we told them it was illegal to use. A contraption called a Gerry chair was used finally.It is a chair that the elderly are left in indefinitely.If you walk into elder hell you will see any number of these used.The idea is to angle the front of the chair at the knees to disable even a healthy person from getting up.I would love 5minutes with the inventor of some of these devises...Please God just 5minutes!
They permanently disable anyone who has even the slightest abilities to walk.
The last 2 months of dads life continued to see increased bruising and increased fearfulness in dad.Each time being a sign of his declining mental faculties according to medical professionals?.Dad was sharp when I was alone with him.He would ask if we were alone and ask about his home and things I remember him working on at home.unfinished projects he now realized he would never again see.He would ask me to help him and I had been told that I had no legal recourse to help him.My younger sister was his care taker.The stress had taken a mental toll on her and she was collapsing emotionally from the tonnage dumped on her.She now had her own disability from an assault many years ago.Now she was asked to defend someone else from a hellish position in this society who goes overboard for those overseas...Our own Elders are stripped of their dignity,stripped of their rights,abused with ethics covering their criminal asses at the patients expense.Those wonderful ancient warriors of life are taken advantage of in ways no human should ever be exposed to.
They are fed blended puke,physically abused,frightened into silence and incarcerated with no chance of ever getting out.The elderly in this country are the last to have equal rights under our Constitution.All the wonderful organizations that advertise how they fight for equal rights and justice for everyone,get very quiet when the elderly are mentioned...I guess those folks are just throw aways to the Dot ORG types.Hey its like the hospital worker once said to me,These old folks just come here to wait to die.Its not very long...Then no more suffering.I hope that worker is satisfied with that thought when they get there...Never visited by the children they raised to believe elders are just waiting to die instead of living to enjoy the final points of life's experience.
Footnote and final Paragraphs to this:
The nursing home in Canandaigua New York mentioned here was to be given another nursing homes patients since that nursing home was closing.The beds were all filled so there were no spaces available for more "residence's.Amazingly there was a rash of aspiration deaths and it is said 30 patient/Residence passed away in just 30days.There was always flu and mersa closing the wards for weeks on end when dad was there.
The deal never went through and the nursing home has had New York State in to look it over.My sisters and I tried to get the Ombudsmen in to help.They walked in,ask the very folks working there what was going on......Ethics again.The Ombudsman walked away...
Nothing change
My dad remained quiet at the end sitting quietly or talking to mom who had been deceased since 1994 of cancer.He looked from the fog directly at us one day.It took us so by surprise that it went silent.Dad said,"you think you can keep me here don't you?well I found a way out and you can not stop me from leaving...He went silent and returned to the fog he had kept.The look as to be studying something intently.
Dad did not eat for the next 3days.He was placed into bed and given morphine to ease the pain of passing.his breathing became shallow and labored.My younger sister and I had sat with dad all night as the time passed for the arrival of Damocles The Arch Angel of death to arrive and take dad into peace.The sun rose in the sky as the morning started it day.
Dad was laying there as I was telling him about the stories of his Grandfather that he loved so much.The grandfather had taken an interest in dad because he was so intelligent.The fished summers together..Dad breathed a long sigh and stopped breathing...He had escaped from a living hell and they could not stop him...
We sat there a moment to say a prayer for dad and say our goodbyes.We rose and exited the room only to meet an aide about to enter the room.The guy who got him out of bed each morning.The aid we now know who was an alcoholic with a record of coincidental patients injured in the morning.I looked at his face a foot from his face as I exited the door.He spoke up and asked if dad was DEAD!point blank.I said yes he just passed.I was astonished at the cold and callus mannerism.He then sneered and said well none of us are sad about that,he was always fighting with us and causing trouble.it will be more peaceful here now.We reported this to the same charge nurse who said well....we will look into it.IF THAT HAPPENED?
it was not apropriate.The day nurse caught up with us on the way out and told us she would say a prayer for us and informed us of the aids alcoholic habits also that he probably was the abuser..Her job supported her family and ETHICS WOULD NOT PERMIT HER TO SAY ANYTHING ON THE RECORD.
I have tried many times to write this article.Each time I feel the intense fires of my soul screaming for some kind of justice to such things..some kind of equalizer to step in and make the things like this.......I have spent many days looking into some kind of law to help those who have no one or those who are at the mercy of a corrupt system we call ETHICS that accounts for more human suffering from abuse and screw ups by so called professional who have at some point in time left their souls out to rot with their hearts.
I have no answer for this....I am without answers to this sort of thing.I would rather die then ever be forced to live my last four years as my Father did.
In the paraphrased words of Satan in Milton's Paradise Lost
Quote'"I spit at you from the fires of hell for hates sake I curse you".Than to be at the mercy of those same ETHICS.They are a true evil.
I am quite capable to back any of this article up with facts and witness's that observed this
There should also be state papers available to prove this not a smudge on any thing from imagination.
RJP
For some reason Zemantas related articles for elder abuse is overseas articles of Muslim,Koran,and such I will not use articles that are NOT related to that which I write.It would serve not purpose
